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On yesterday’s call we talked about the negative effects of an overactive anterior cingulate, which is extremely common in Brain Injury, PTSD, anxiety, ASD, OCD, ADHD etc. The anterior cingulate serves as the “gear shift” of the brain and when overactive, can cause repetitive behaviors, rumination, inability to change tasks or multitask, adrenal dysfunction, anxiety, anger, frustration, and an over all feeling of getting “stuck” on something where your brain just won’t shut up.  You can help combat this with a wonderful supplement called 5-htp. BrainMD also has a supplement specially formulated that has 5-htp, GABA, L-tyrosine, L-glutamine, L-taurine, and vitamin B6, all calming agents to help your brain “chill out” Depending on where your brain is at the moment, this may be a great option for you to try. If you aren’t sure about starting a new supplement, ask your Integrative Medicine Doctor for an amino acid analysis to make sure you would benefit without adverse effects.

I was so blessed to discover the world of Functional Neurology, also called Chiropractic Neurology, and I think you will be too! To begin, the conventional neurologists that I had gone to see previously were very limited in the types of testing they could order for further assessment, and only suggested prescription drugs as a solution. Although the prescriptions seemed to temporarily mask some of my symptoms, I encountered more symptoms as side effects that ultimately set me back in my recovery process instead of actually helping me get better. In addition, since I have multiple, complicated injuries to my brain and also have genetic expressions that interfere with my body’s ability to methylate prescriptions properly, I don’t respond well to medications. This definitely explains why the traditional technique applied by most neurologists of managing symptoms with medication and then adding more meds on top to manage the side effects of the first drugs, just doesn’t help me at all. I have talked with some people who have found a drug that really helps them with the one symptom they have and they get on with their lives, but that just wasn’t me. I have since found that I am in good company with many of my friends who have also suffered TBI, especially those of us with multiple injuries. Finding well-trained Board Certified Chiropractic Neurologists has been an incredible blessing in my healing journey. Functional Neurologists have access to the most cutting edge technology to measure brain function and diagnose deficiencies. The treatment focuses less on drugs and more on rehabilitating the brain to function properly again. It is finally common knowledge in modern neuroscience that our brains are plastic (malleable or moldable), even as an adult, and that many functions that had been lost through brain injury can be restored with time and effort. It was incredibly refreshing to hear for the first time that the symptoms that my conventional doctors were totally unfamiliar with: 1.already had scientific names, 2.were very typical of someone who has had multiple head injuries, and here is the best part, 3. were treatable without drugs! At my very first appointment, I was blown away not only by the fact that these doctors were familiar with the symptoms that I was experiencing, but that they could also explain to me why they were happening and how we can train my brain to fix them. Tests existed that showed me on paper what I had been trying to explain to old fashioned doctors for years. For example, I was trying to explain that my eyes would wiggle whenever I tried to focus on an object. I said it sheepishly because I knew it sounded weird but then when I told my new functional neurologist, he chimed in and said, “oh those sound like square wave jerks.” “Square wave what?” He took me into a room to do VNG testing (Videonystagmography). Here is how it works – a device was placed on my head that had high tech cameras on my eyes and then the doctor had me do a series of eye tracking tests by having me follow the objects on the screen in front of me. First of all, I could barely make it through the test, it was so exhausting. This already revealed that I had post-concussive vision syndrome. He showed me the results, and sure enough its whole purpose was to track and measure all of my “eye wiggles” and more. This explained so many of my symptoms and along with a detailed examination, gave the doctors the exact data they needed to formulate a vision therapy plan. This functional neurology practice was also the first to do a QEEG (quantitative EEG) of my brain, which I will go more into detail on another post. Basically it’s a test that measures the electrical activity in the different parts of your brain. It was absolutely crazy to be able to see on paper the dysregulation in my brain in patterns that were consistent with the common after effects of multiple head injuries. Then it went on to describe the symptoms that I was likely experiencing based on the brain map and it was spot on. We also went through more testing, including a neurological evaluation, interactive metronome (measures the ability of my brain to regulate timing), and computerized posturography (balance testing). Test after test revealed deficits in my brain’s functioning and helped my doctors put together a plan of action to help me get better. Although the practice of Functional Neurology has been around for generations, it is growing increasingly popular, as more and more of us with brain challenges and neurological issues get tired of dealing with standard neurologists and other doctors, who have treated us very poorly and done little or nothing to help our debilitating symptoms. Many symptoms that my regular neurologists told me I would have to live with forever and would only get worse with time, have completely disappeared under the rehabilitative care of a Chiropractic Neurologist. Instead of suggesting more drugs to just “manage the symptoms”, the doctors actually created a strategy to help me create new neural pathways in my brain to treat the underlying cause(s) of the symptoms themselves. Even though Functional Neurologists will often put themselves under the category of Chiropractic, they are much less about realigning your spine and more about rehabilitating your brain and nervous system. The chiropractic label just gives them a category to fall under for insurance purposes as their unique practice becomes more well known and widely accepted. New Functional Neurology clinics are popping up all over North America and people are traveling across the world to go to them. Depending on your insurance coverage and how the clinic bills your services, you may have to pay a lot more for care, but it’s worth every penny when you start to get your life back again. Clinics range from a more elaborate 5, 10, or 15 day intensive program that averages a little over $1000 a day, to offering smaller appointments a couple times a week that vary in price. Some clinics have billed my insurance straight away and some I had to file myself to obtain partial reimbursement. Now, before you go thinking that every doctor with “Chiropractic Neurologist” behind their name is a Godsend, please use discretion as you search one out. As is the case with any type of medical practitioner, the good the bad and the clueless often practice under the same title and went to the same schools. I have been to amazing Functional Neurologists who did extensive testing and were very meticulous in my treatment, checking my oxygen levels, heart rate, etc during my therapies. On the other hand, I’ve also been to one who was great with genetic research and methylation, but then for therapy, he put me in a room by myself to do a generalized exercise that blew a fuse in my brain, and acted surprised when I couldn’t even stand up or walk afterward. So just like any doctor, when you go to check them out, make sure that they are good listeners and you feel absolutely comfortable in their care. In other words, if they seem more focused on impressing you with all of their knowledge of a “one size fits all care plan” that they invented, than listening to you and researching the perfect plan for your brain’s recovery, find a new one. Stay away from any medical care practitioner that seems more interested in defending their treatment program and their ego, than helping an individual get better in any way they can. This goes for doctors of every kind, in every field. I have seen MD’s that just wanted to give me drugs to cover up symptoms and I have been to some that very much want to help me fix the actual problem. I have also been to NaturoPaths that just wanted to tell me I had candida and leaky gut and sell me their supplements, and some who actually did legitimate lab testing to help me find what was actually causing my symptoms. Stay clear of Doctors/Technicians that tend to make it seem like you are the reason you aren’t achieving results versus admitting something they tried wasn’t working and changing up their treatment plan to fit your brain’s needs. Everyone’s brain is different, every injury is unique. There is no one magical treatment that fixes everyone. A good doctor understands that, respects that, and will work with the other care providers on your team to help you achieve the best results possible. Also, it is important to understand that every doctor has their special niche. The ones who are better at administering physical brain training therapies may not be as familiar with the nutrition and methylation side of things and visa versa. That is where a full team of professionals helping you is always the best approach. Some of the conditions that a Board Certified Chiropractic Neurologist may treat are: Concussion/Traumatic Brain Injury Acquired Brain Injury Hypoxic Brain Injury PTSD Stroke ADHD Dyslexia OCD Depression Anxiety Parkinson’s Cerebral Palsy Alzheimer’s and Dementia Movement Disorders (Ataxia, Dystonia, etc) Multiple Sclerosis (MS) Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD) Sensory Processing Disorder (SPD) Developmental Disorders Dysautonomia and POTS Chronic Fatigue Syndrome Fibromyalgia Restless Leg Syndrome Neuropathy Listed below are some of the services that many of the best Chiropractic Neurologists offer if you want to go ahead and plug them into a search engine to find them in your area. Also you can look up a provider in you area using the http://www.acnb.org website (eventually I will be doing individual posts on each of these to explain them more) Quantitative EEG (QEEG) or Brain Mapping Neurofeedback Autonomic Function Evaluation Interactive Metronome Videonystagmography (VNG) testing Saccadic Eye Movement Training Computerized Dynamic Posturography (CDP) Somatosensory Evoked Potentials (SSEP) Sensory stimulation therapy (SST) Neurocognitive Assessments The author of this post is not a doctor, nor did she receive any compensation or treatment for writing it. Liz is a TBI survivor that just wants to show others her unbiased opinion on what she treatments or therapies she has done in her healing journey so far and bring awareness about what is available to help others like her.

For years, I tried to describe my symptoms to doctors (including neurologists) who were not familiar with brain injury, and believe me, it was frustrating. As my circle of friends in the brain injury world has grown, I have been both relieved that I am not the only one and appalled at some of the things doctors have told my friends. Things like blatantly saying that their symptoms were impossible and suggesting that they were making them up. Or saying that they are just depressed or anxious and reading too much into their symptoms. Really?!?! I’ve heard of doctors stating that concussion symptoms last only 6 months and anything after that must be caused by something else like fibromyalgia. Or even telling their patients that anything that hasn’t healed on it’s own in a year is likely permanent damage. What?!?! The list goes on and on, and has me wondering if these doctors ever studied the brain at all in their many years of schooling. My doctors had been somewhat understanding compared to some of the horror stories that I have heard from others. It is tempting to step on my soapbox about how these doctors are one of the main reasons TBI patients feel hopeless and alone, but I will save that for another time. As you can imagine, there was such a relief that I felt when I finally found doctors who understood what I was going through on a daily basis and could even tell me why. They did specific testing that told us what was going on in my brain to cause these debilitating symptoms and had strategies on how to help me get better and improve my quality of life. Here are some things I have learned through the process. 1.Go with your gut. You do not have to see the first doctor that you are referred to. It’s amazing how we will shop around for the best pest control service, repair man, or hairstylist but when it comes to our own health, we just think that the first doctor we are told to go see is the one we have to stick with. This is not true my friends. You are not just a patient, you are a paying customer and you deserve to get quality service. This might mean extra paperwork with your insurance company or driving a bit further to your appts, but believe me. It’s worth it. 2. Put together a team of professionals that are willing to work together to help you. No doctor knows it all, and the best ones will understand and acknowledge that. In fact, beware of doctors that make it seem like they know it all and they will be a “one stop shop” for your total treatment. These types of Doctors may feel threatened that you are seeing someone else for the same condition. Wisdom is found in a multitude of counselors, and in this case, healthcare professionals. Listen to them all intently and use your gut to make your own decisions about your next steps based on the information you have learned from all of them. Just an FYI: This doesn’t mean that when the doctor tells you something you don’t want to hear you find another one that gives you an easier option. Brain rehabilitation takes hard work and dedication. There is no magical pill or easy fix. 3. Understand that healthcare is a business. Whether you are seeing your primary care MD for a physical, going in for major surgery, or getting an adjustment from a chiropractor. Now I’m not saying that all doctors care about is money, but it important to understand that some of the advice they give can be influenced by how many patients they need to see on a daily basis, the pharmaceutical and supplements companies they are in business with and the fact that their health service to you is what is also putting food on the table for their families. The following are common titles and keywords that may help you find the types of Doctors and other professionals who have helped me and so many other brain warriors. I will be going more into detail about each of these types of care providers in future posts as the title does not mean they are necessarily the best for your team. But for now, here are some keywords that you might want to type into a search engine. Functional or Chiropractic Neurology (DACNB) also try www.acnb.org Integrative or Functional Medicine Neuro Optometry or Behavioral Optometry or Rehabilitative Optometry (also try COVD.org to find providers in your area) Neurorehabilitation Brain Rehabilitation Neuroplasticity Brain Centers Concussion Clinic Neuropsychiatry Neurofeedback (also try BCIA.org to find certified providers in your area) Vision Therapy Sound or Auditory Therapy Vestibular Physical Therapy Upper Cervical Chiropractic or NUCCA (also try NUCCA.org to find providers in your area) Cranial Sacral Therapy Transcranial Magnetic Stimulation Speech Language Pathology and Occupational Therapy (Important to make sure they specialize in brain injury) Warning: Based on my own personal experience as well as feedback from peers, neurologists and neuropsychologists can either be helpful or detrimental to your healing journey. There is a huge difference between the average neurologist or neuropsychologist and one who is actually certified in brain injury or at least familiar with it. My advice is to do some extra research on the front end, and find out if they are familiar with concussions, brain injury, and post concussion syndrome. And remember… No matter what type of doctor you are seeing, If you go in for your first appointment and feel that your symptoms are not taken seriously or understood completely, continue your search for a more educated professional who understands. They do exist, I promise!

Turns out I was always looking for adventure as a child, and as a tiny 16 month old, I slipped through the railing at the top of a staircase and fell straight down nearly a story. No one saw exactly how I landed but a huge black eye showed that I hit my head. I was quite sick throughout my childhood. In fact, my first memory is throwing up all night and my second one is being rushed to the hospital in the middle of the night for breathing treatments. Our bathroom was commonly my second bedroom, because we could fill it up with steam for me to sleep in and keep me close to the toilet. I asked my mom what age most of my illness started and she estimated at about 2 years old. She still talks of how even when I was incredibly sick, I rarely complained or lost my composure. Some of that had to be by nature. Even at a young age, I didn’t want to show weakness. I also think I learned early in life that if grown-ups found out you were sick, you had to sit out and miss all the cool things in life. Since sitting out of any adventure sounded like torture to me, I taught myself how to keep my complaints to a minimum and act “fine” even when I clearly wasn’t. I was the only kid I knew that faked well so I didn’t have to miss school. I loved it, school came very easily for me. I was in advanced placement for everything and scored well above my grade level on all the standardized tests. I was always looking for the next challenge, and between climbing trees, jumping bikes and roughhousing with my older brother, I’ve ended up in the ER more than once. Gymnastics also became a large part of my life after my mom saw that I taught myself how to do a back handspring. I started late at age 10, but started competitive training very quickly and won my first state championship within a year. Falling is a normal part of a gymnastics. Things might be different now with a higher awareness of concussions, but back then, if we could get back up off the mat, we thought we were okay. I’ve definitely had my share of serious falls and had my “bell rung” or blacked out a few times, but I’m not sure how many of these would be considered concussions or what they are now calling non-concussive hits. It only takes a few minutes of watching a high level gymnast learn a new skill to see that falling repeatedly is just part of the sport. I think I can relate to all young high level athletes when I say that dizziness and headaches were just expected after a large fall and we try to cover it up the best we can, either out of determination to win or just sheer embarrassment. Even people that were never in athletics, but were in an accident of some sort can understand that many times due to adrenaline and endorphins, you don’t even “feel” it until the next day. Maybe it was just my own lack of awareness, but I never thought about the possibility of my brain sloshing back and forth in my skull. I was also in a few motor vehicle accidents growing up. One in particular, was on my 10th birthday when my mom, sister and I were hit by someone that ran a red light. By 5th grade, which was shortly after this vehicle accident followed by a fall to my head learning a back tuck in gymnastics, I can remember having what I now know are common post concussion symptoms like fatigue, anxiety attacks, emotional dysregulation, insomnia, headaches, and neuromuscular pain in my legs. I became extremely hot tempered and my parents thought it was hormonal. I remember throwing a huge tantrum one night that involved climbing out on the roof, because my parents wouldn’t let me watch a movie. I later told them that I thought about jumping off. They knew that I knew better, and I did, but I think it was just my way of telling them something wasn’t right. I started to suffer from intrusive thoughts and anxiety attacks. Many times I found myself crying hysterically on the floor, because I thought someone in my family was going to die in a car accident or be murdered. It was confusing for us all, because it was completely out of character for me. Other than the moments of terror and fits of rage at home, I was a well behaved honor roll student, very social and active in my church and community. Embarrassed, I tried to keep my struggles to myself, so no one would think less of me. The attacks eventually became less frequent and were soon forgotten. My handwriting changed drastically in my school papers that were saved from middle school. I started skipping letters and writing the wrong words multiple times per page. I would always fix it as I went, so it just looked like my writing became very sloppy. I guess it didn’t bother me much, because I didn’t realize how bad it was until I was an adult and couldn’t even write on a greeting card without messing it up. I also started to have a hard time with reading comprehension and paying attention in class, but because it was mild and I was resourceful, I could find ways to figure stuff out and still get good grades. I did what I find very common in kids who have been affected by concussions. I acted like everything was fine, or “no big deal,” even if I was struggling. I was a high achiever and I wanted everyone to be proud of me and impressed by my abilities, I couldn’t stand the thought of someone thinking I had anything wrong with me or that I wasn’t smart. Brain injuries are not limited to just hits to the head, and can also be caused by hypoxia or lack of oxygen to the brain, so I feel I should include an incident when I was 12. I was at a friends house and we were being silly playing board games. The juice I was drinking “went down the wrong pipe” which happened to me frequently, but this time was different. In a panic, I ran into the bathroom where I fell unconscious, also hitting my head on the way down. I am not sure how long I was out for, but it was long enough for my friend’s sister to drag me out into the hallway and resuscitate me. This was going into my 8th grade year, where I once again battled cognitive changes, insomnia, fatigue, and anxiety. I suddenly developed an extreme fear of going backwards which greatly affected my performance in gymnastics. We had to replace many of the backward tumbling in my routines to forward ones, because my body simply would not let me go backwards anymore. I have since learned that this affects about 10% of gymnasts to some extent, and I wonder if concussions might be a cause. Between the anxiety, fatigue, back problems, and neurological symptoms we chose for me to stop training at a club level in gymnastics and I switched to high school varsity gymnastics my sophomore year which we knew would be less stress on my mind and body. I also started pole vaulting on the track team. I loved pole vaulting, which is a lot like gymnastics except you fly much higher and fall a lot further. There was a danger and a toughness to it that I loved. They made us wear helmets because there were a couple students that had recently died from head injuries. I hated that rule back then because it seemed “wimpy”, but in hindsight, I am thankful for it. High school classes were a game of teaching myself outside of class, copying a friend last minute, getting cliff notes, and finding out exactly what would be on a test to memorize it. I never read any of the required material, but still managed to get high marks. I figured out that a GPA was a GPA no matter if you took Pre-calculus or Graphic Arts, so I dropped out of the advanced programs and started taking what we called “blow off” classes for an easy “A”. I masked my frustration with boredom to play it cool, but I struggled inside and wondered why things were so much harder for me. More severe neurological symptoms started to develop. My arms and legs would suddenly go weak in the middle of my routines and, I saw stars at least once every gymnastics practice. We thought maybe it was from my back problems. I had been diagnosed with many spinal problems including a bulging disc that we thought might be pressing on my nerves. When a chiropractor or orthopedic surgeon looked at my x-rays, their first question was usually, “How many times have you fallen on your head?” My neurologist told me my symptoms were not caused by my bulging disc, but didn’t tell me what could be causing them. Weird things started to happen like I would just stop in the middle of my gymnastics routines and not remember where I was or how to perform a skill. I started to become disoriented when I tumbled the same passes I had done for years. I would frequently run down the runway, and by the time I was about to vault, I forgot what I was doing and baulked. I’ll never forget the last routines I ever performed my senior year, I was ranked number 1 in the state on bars, and at the sectional meet I just stopped in the middle of my routine. I didn’t fall or lose control but just stopped mid-swing. I forgot I was competing! Needless to say, I didn’t even qualify for state on bars, but I did manage to on vault and floor and I traveled all the way to the state meet to do the same thing. I got so disoriented that I just stopped in my last tumbling pass. Not exactly the way I imagined going out. It was normal for me to not feel well so when I would randomly wake up vomiting in the middle of the night, I would just blame it on my sensitive stomach or bad food. My mom also had a lot of health challenges, so I thought maybe it was hereditary and I needed to just be strong and not let it stop me. I got pretty good at toughing things out, so much that I talked my parents and coach into letting me pole vault in a track meet, despite having pneumonia, because I refused to let it stop me from competing. I graduated high school with athletic scholarship opportunities, and everyone expected me to go to a university. However, I knew that my body would not be able to handle the demand of collegiate sports, nor did think I could cognitively handle regular university courses. I moved to Chicago to go to school for fashion design which had always been a passion of mine. I had designed and sewn my own clothes since I was a little girl, and though many things became harder for me over the years, engineering patterns and constructing garments was still a strength of mine. One day, I was on a routine jog downtown with my roommate. We were in the crosswalk of a large intersection and after waiting for a truck to make a left hand turn, we didn’t quite make it the rest of the way across before I was struck by a car. We still don’t know if she ran a red light or if the light turned green before I could get across, but the sun was in the driver’s eyes, and she hit me going about 35 miles an hour. According to my roommate, I flew straight up in the air and then my head and shoulder smashed through the windshield. When the car stopped, I was thrown back onto the pavement. I was conscious after the accident although apparently not in my right mind. I’m glad I wrote about the accident in a journal soon afterward, because I currently don’t remember much at all. Apparently, I got up off the pavement and tried to put my ponytail back in, but instead ended up with a handful of glass, blood, and hair. Someone shouted that they were getting a towel from their trunk to help soak up the blood. I told everyone I was just going to walk to my apartment and clean up, but they made me get into an ambulance, which seemed to show up immediately. I wrote that the paramedic told me I was in shock and would feel the pain soon. I do vaguely remember trying to pick shards of glass out of my shoulder while they were putting me on the stretcher. I remember looking up at all the ER nurses as they were cutting my clothes off, and the sting of novacane shots as they stitched me up. I wrote down that they did things like X-rays, and checked for internal bleeding. I don’t think anyone mentioned anything to me about a possible concussion even though it was apparent that my head had busted through a windshield and then likely hit the pavement when I tumbled back onto the street. I remember in a follow up visit a nurse pulled my dad aside and asked if I was his daughter. She said she was working the ER the day of the accident and she had never seen someone brought in with the level of severity I was and remain as calm as I was. At first I was proud to hear that comment, but something tells me I just really had no concept of what had happened, and that should have been a red flag to those working in the ER. That accident took quite a bit of recovery. I took some time off from school and stayed with my parents in Wisconsin. I remember the pain of waking up every night stuck to my bed sheets because my lacerations leaked through the gauze dressings. I had headaches, nausea, and uncontrollable emotions in the weeks that followed, but I was on high doses of pain medication, so we thought those symptoms were side effects. I still remember my mom looking at me during a crying spell and saying, “Elizabeth, we need to get you off those medicines. This is not good.” I didn’t know the symptoms of a brain injury at the time, and I was not in a place mentally to figure out what was going on. The next couple years were tough. I don’t know how to describe it other than I felt like a completely different person. I didn’t know what was wrong with me, but something wasn’t right. I gained 35 pounds almost immediately, and had uncontrollable cravings for sugar. I struggled hard with depression and felt like I lost who I was. I did things completely out of character to try to “feel good” again. I thought I was just adjusting to my independence or being a rebellious college kid, but now, I realize that I was self medicating to try to get back feelings that my brain no longer produced on it’s own. I lived a crazy busy college life. The worse I felt the more I tried to accomplish. I was overly passionate with an extremely hot temper, and obsessed with work. I didn’t realize it at the time but my brain was in overdrive. I couldn’t sleep at night so caffeine and ephedrine pills would get me through work and school. My record was 3 days in a row without sleep. One morning, I was driving to work going about 65 on the highway and the next thing I know, I was crashing into the side wall of the highway. I remember feeling multiple impacts and I can vividly still see in my mind the moment that I “came to” and realized I had just been in an accident. I still don’t know what happened or how it happened and I didn’t know there was another car involved until afterwards. I’m sure I was in shock and pain, but I wasn’t bleeding this time, so I probably told people I was fine to avoid another hospital visit. I even still managed to make it to my second job bartending at a restaurant that evening, probably still running on adrenaline from the accident. I never liked missing work for anything, and by now it seemed like totalling my car was just another day in my crazy life. In the months after that accident my existing sleep and neurological symptoms grew worse. I also started having digestive problems, headaches, chest pain, hair loss and other hormonal issues. I rapidly lost all the weight I had gained after the last accident. At work, I started to struggle remembering what people needed or who I was waiting on. I also couldn’t stand for long periods of time or get through my shifts without high amounts of caffeine or ephedrine. I was coaching gymnastics at the time and found myself not able to pay attention to a 1 minute routine and forgetting to pull the springboard when my girls started their routines. My co-workers thought I came to work hung over because I was always so exhausted and had to take vomiting breaks. I didn’t know to relate any of these things to the recent accident. I didn’t even realize these symptoms happened directly in the months after the crash until I looked back at my medical records years later when I was creating a timeline. Based on my symptoms, doctors tested me for things like mono, crohn’s, fibromyalgia, and ulcers, but never found any real answers. After an endoscopy procedure, they found that there was food still in my stomach from the day before, which is a sign of autonomic nervous system dysfunction, but my doctors didn’t put those clues together at the time. I couldn’t be in daylight without having a headache, but I was already on a medicine for my skin that said it could cause light sensitivity and depression. Doctors put me on many different medications, and I tried them all because I was so desperate. When nothing was working, they just blamed it on anxiety and I felt that they were just calling me weak or making me sound like a “head case”. At this point, I couldn’t tell what was still my symptoms or just side effects from the medicines. It was a nightmare and I felt like I was being treated more like a lab rat than a patient. Finally, I gave up and weaned myself off all medications and stopped going to doctors altogether. Unfortunately, I never realized why I was sick, but like the many times I had been on this rollercoaster before, I slowly started to get better over the next year or two and things became more manageable. When I graduated college in 2007. I was ready for a fresh start. I moved to Virginia Beach to work as a fashion designer at a sportswear company. I was just starting my dream career and began dating the love of my life, Brendan. He and I were both working professionally as well as building a marketing business together on the side. He had also been a high level athlete all his life and we spent all of our free time enjoying an active lifestyle and competing in the sports we love. I was doing fairly well health wise and in the best physical shape of my life, competing in fitness shows and pole vaulting in the open division at college track meets. Of course, just like in highschool, I had a few pretty serious spills. I remember my boss questioning me one day about my bruises, and I had to explain to him they were from pole vaulting accidents and not my husband. During a meet in December 2008, my pole broke during my vault. I went head first into the box area between the mats where you plant the pole. At first it was just another fall to me and though I was a bit dizzy and shaken up, I got back up and took another attempt with a new pole. I’ve since learned that there is a fine line between tough and ridiculously foolish, but most athletes can relate. When you are in the moment with everyone watching and you want to win, your instinct is to do whatever it takes and worry about the pain later. After that fall I decided it might be best to take a break from vaulting. Looking at my health records I realize that I was very depressed for a short period directly after this fall, but I was also on a new contraceptive and blamed it on that. My health started to decline again with the return of sleep disorder, chronic pain, nausea, fatigue, trouble concentrating, and a whole host of mysterious neurological symptoms. This was about the time that my husband and I also found out that we had poisonous Chinese drywall in our new house and were forced to move out so they could rebuild the inside of our home. My husband thought this might be the cause of my symptoms, but I had a feeling that whatever it was that plagued me in college was slowly coming back. Roughly a year later, (I wish I could tell you that I am making this up) on New Year’s Eve, I was hit by drunk driver that ran a red light going about 60mph. At the age of 25, I had now been in 7 motor vehicle accidents, only 1 of which I was found at fault. No I don’t have a black cat, and yes, I was starting to get freaked out a little bit. I remembered being hurt and sore this last accident, but I don’t remember specifically hitting my head. I have now learned that you do not even need to hit your head to cause a brain injury. The word “concussion” means violent shaking and thats what your brain does when someone hits you at 60mph whether you hit your head directly on something or not. I have spoken with many people who have simply been rear ended at a low speed and have a significant brain injury from it because of how their brain rotated inside of their skull. I wonder how many people are living with a chronic illness that developed after an accident, and they don’t even know it was actually from the accident itself. Things changed drastically in the months after that accident, I was fighting sleep disorder again and I found myself not being able to concentrate or stay awake at work. I was having all kinds of weird symptoms again like vertigo, brain fog, pressure headaches, ringing in my ears, dizzy spells, vision and hearing problems, partial seizures, stabbing pains in my head, metabolic syndrome, IGG food allergies, thyroid disorder, adrenal dysfunction, and autonomic nervous system disorder (irregularities in digestion, breathing, swallowing, etc.) My heart rate would fluctuate constantly mostly ranging from 90 to 140 but often dropping to 50 and spiking to 165. I thought my heart rate monitor was broken until I had my husband wear it for a day and saw that his was normal. For years, I had what felt like a constant bladder infection. I didn’t know why until I studied dysautonomia. My brain was telling my body to go to the bathroom when I didn’t need to, and when I did need to, I couldn’t. Weird things started happening, for instance, my throat would randomly swallow in the middle of a word when I was talking. Then when I tried to swallow something, I couldn’t, which caused me to choke on things all the time. Nothing was consistent, and the symptoms were always changing. I would go to the doctor and they would ask me why I was there, but all the sudden I didn’t know why or what any of my symptoms were. I learned to keep everything in a binder. All my medical records, a list of symptoms, and questions I had for my doctors. When I tried to explain all of my symptoms, most doctors just made me feel like I was nuts. Even I couldn’t understand why one day, I could bounce on a trampoline or hike up a mountain with friends and then for weeks, I could barely walk up a flight of stairs or stand up in the kitchen long enough to cook a simple meal. Eventually, I couldn’t even physically get myself out of bed each day. It was like I was paralyzed every morning and stuck in my dreams. My husband would come home on his lunch break, massage my arms and legs, pick me up out of bed, and hold me up until I could stand on my own, so I could go into work 3 hours late, only to sit at my desk and struggle to stay awake. Of course, little miss “I’m fine” would just walk into work 3 hours late everyday with a smile on her face like everything was great. I refused to tell anyone anything that was going on. I was just trying to tough it out because in the past my symptoms would eventually subside, but this time things got much worse in the years following instead of better. Little by little my body was starting to fail me. I saw specialist after specialist, but everything I was diagnosed with was just a fancy name for my symptoms, and it wasn’t giving me any answers as to why it was all happening. I remember one day my neurologist took a look at my results from a daytime sleep latency test and shook his head saying “You have a big problem.” I thought “No kidding!” I was just glad to hear he might be able to pinpoint what the “problem” was. He said I had Narcolepsy, and I was born with it and it was just showing up now. He said it was degenerative and there is no cure, just medicine to help you manage symptoms. I thought it was weird that when I researched Narcolepsy only a small few of my symptoms fit into the description. In fact, I still have a list of symptoms that I wrote down to and told him about including: headaches, twitching and spasms in my limbs, ringing in my ears, crawling sensations on my hands and feet, heart palpitations, confusion, losing balance, vertigo, metallic taste in my mouth and all food tasting weird, shakiness, extremely cold hands and feet, etc but he completely disregarded them and only focused on my sleep, not even mentioning the other symptoms in his notes. This seemed to be a pattern with the conventional neurologists I had seen up to that point. I think anyone with post concussion syndrome can relate to this scenario. If only I knew then what I know now. That diagnosis started a year of experimenting with tons of drugs and dosage amounts. I had reactions to all of them, but I still took them because it was the only way I could at least be productive for a couple of hours at work. The stimulants gave me the ability to be productive for a few hours followed by a huge painful crash. I didn’t know it at the time but I’m sure I was just setting myself further back in my healing the harder I medicated and pushed myself. One day after a severe reaction, I decided to stop all the medications. However, without them I could no longer work. It helped that we were making money on the side in a network marketing business to cushion the financial blow, and we decided for me to come home and try to get better. I started a home based fashion business, but it was mostly a cover up so that people didn’t ask why I wasn’t working. This struggle was an extremely hard hit to my pride, which up to this point, fueled everything I did. All my life, regardless of any challenge I faced, I figured out how to overcome it. I never made excuses. Now at 26 years old, I couldn’t even get out of bed on my own strength or complete simple tasks by myself. This shook me to the core, and led to some serious soul searching and a revelation that changed me. I was finally broken to a point that I was forced to find my value in who I was, and not what I was capable of doing. My sleep schedule by this time was totally backwards I would go to sleep anywhere from 4-8am and wake up anywhere from 2-6 pm. Frequently sleeping for 14 hours straight after rough days and not even getting up during that time to use the restroom. I would have spells where I would lose all muscle tone in my body, collapsing for 15-45 minutes at a time. My husband would just put a pillow under my head and cover me with a blanket and we would just wait it out. I had previously loved public speaking in our business trainings, and did it all the time until I started having attacks out of the blue where I suddenly couldn’t breathe or get the words out. My annoying attention problems that began in high school and college turned into severe adhd, short term memory loss, and other cognitive impairment that would later be diagnosed through testing. This former honor student couldn’t even remember how to get herself ready to leave the house. I would just stand in the bathroom or closet confused and frustrated with myself. I couldn’t drive more than 30 minutes and even for short familiar trips, I needed my GPS on to remind me where to turn. I lost the ability to do more than one thing at a time or learn new things. My body ached everyday like a bad hangover mixed with arthritis and the flu, and any cognitive or physical stress would leave me feeling drunk or high. I became extremely hypersensitive to all sounds, light and movement, and my brain lost the ability to filter out unnecessary stimuli. This made simple things like a routine trip to the grocery store or going to a restaurant with friends extremely exhausting. Going to any large event would put me in bed for days. I eventually learned to avoid public places and social events at all costs. I researched my symptoms to try to find answers, reading every health book and article I could get my hands on. I would go to my doctor asking for tests like heavy metals poisoning, etc. anything I thought would give me answers. I was on a mission, but they started to think I was crazy. I’ll never forget the day I sat in a doctor’s exam room and she leaned into me and asked “Do you think you are just reading too much into your illness? She couldn’t understand why I wouldn’t just accept my diagnosis of incurable diseases that we didn’t know the cause of and take the drugs. This led me to look into a more naturopathic route, but it was more of the same. They thought I had leaky gut syndrome, candida, lymes disease, Epstein Barre, etc, I tested negative for it all, but that didn’t stop them from selling me tons of supplements. At this time I had no awareness of post concussion syndrome or the lasting effects of traumatic and acquired brain injuries. Apparently, none of my doctors did either. So after years of research, thousands of dollars in medical expenses, and countless condescending looks from doctors who didn’t understand. I raised a white flag. I didn’t want to give up, but I didn’t know what else to do. My faith in being healed faded as I grow more and more sick. It became impossible to relate to anyone around me. I would put on a strong face and make conversations with friends. I’d pretend to care about things that others got excited about to be supportive, but inside I was completely numb and exhausted from trying to act human when I felt like anything but one. A lot goes through your mind when you reach a place like this. It’s a fierce battle everyday when your spirit wants to live, but your brain doesn’t, and they are both in a battle for your mind. I didn’t want to end my life, but didn’t feel like I had the strength to keep living. I felt bad for my husband that he married me. I thought about the financial stress I was causing, and how he could have lived a much easier life with someone who’s healthy. You would think living with all of this would have emotional consequences, and it did, but not the typical “mood disorder” one would expect. As a child I had dealt with anxiety for a period of time, and at many times in the past, I dealt with irrational outbursts of anger. When I would research some of my symptoms things like depression and anxiety would come up, because I had all the physical symptoms, like fatigue, sleep issues, heart palpitations, difficulty breathing, etc, but I didn’t particularly feel sad or fearful. In fact, I realized one day that I didn’t really feel much of any specific emotions anymore, not even anger. Granted, I had always been kind of a tough stoic kid, so I was never really one to be considered a “feeler” type, but I did remember enjoying things like good food or time with friends. I remember how certain things used to make me feel happy, sad, or angry, but now I felt more like a robot than a human being. I just did things because I knew they were the right thing to do, but there was no longer a pleasure reward tied to any of it. The best way that I can describe it is: if feelings and emotions were colors, my world faded to black and white. Sometimes after a collapsing spell, I would have a rush of emotion and cry, but there was never a situational reason for it. It was more of just a random physical feeling that happened as my body was coming back to life. Every once and while something that I can only describe as a physical sensation of hopelessness or the lack of a future flooded me. It was like wave that came over me for few seconds up to an hour and was triggered by things like trying to walk in a grocery store, or drive in a busy place, or physical pain such as a stomach ache or cramps. By this time I knew that it was just another dysregulation in my body and just to hold on because it would pass eventually. I honestly believe that my faith in God, and the strength I drew from prayer and reading scripture were what got me through the hardest days. I know I would have never made it on my own. One thing I am so thankful for was that my sense of humor always remained. I still had the ability to laugh whenever I had the energy to do so and I made the most of it. My husband and I went out of our way to laugh and found humor in anything we could. It was the best way we knew how to soften the blows of the realities we were facing, and it was the only time he could see a real smile on my face that wasn’t forced. It was a conscious effort everyday to choose to believe that God would heal me and he would turn my pain into my purpose. I knew I needed to strengthen my spirit and soul faster than my brain and body were failing. By this time I was aware of the vulnerability of my mind and I had to carefully guard it by cutting out all negative news, tv, and social media. I chose to flood my eyes and ears with positive life giving messages all day every day. Waking up to inspirational praise music everyday was, and still is, a way that I take control of my thoughts before I even wake up. I posted scriptures in my house to remind me of my purpose and encourage me not to give up. One day in particular, I heard a guest speaker at our church mention how in Proverbs 31 it says, “She rises while it is yet night.” Meaning when things look dark and hopeless, she rises up and fights. I knew this was encouragement from above to trust just one more time. I read that faith comes by hearing so I bought a healing affirmations CD and I would repeat them after the speaker. It felt ridiculous to confess that I was healed when most days I was too exhausted to even say the words out loud, but I still did it and just listened on the days that it was too much. I got up the courage to start ordering my own tests online and one in particular, lead to some answers. I just happened to receive the results right before my husband and I had the opportunity to host a special guest speaker, Dr. Chet, at a business conference. He took time out of his busy schedule to hear some of my story and look over my test results. It showed my amino acids were extremely out of balance and he put me on a ketogenic diet to help balance them out. (I’ve sinced learned that this diet is commonly used to treat brain injury, epilepsy, and other neurological disorders.) Within 4 days on the diet, I was like a completely different person. I had energy for the first time in years and many symptoms were better instantly, but most of all it gave me the courage to seek out a new doctor locally who would take me seriously and figure out what was going on. After being turned down by a doctor who thought my case was too complicated, I found one that at least agreed to try, and she did all the tests she could before referring me to the Integrative Longevity Institute of Virginia to see Dr. Parker, who she thought could help me. He took note of my symptoms, ran some comprehensive tests, and at my follow up appointment the first thing he did was give me a form to fill out about my symptoms after my traumatic brain injury. Brain injury? I was confused. I had never even told him about any of my accidents, but he knew just based on my test results. He said I was the poster child for post concussion syndrome and traumatic brain injury, and he had already seen extreme cases like mine in patients who were military veterans and football players with multiple concussions. I started to recall my laundry list of accidents, confirming his findings. How could I have not seen this sooner? My only explanation (other than the obvious lack of knowledge that most conventional doctors have about concussions and the lasting effects of them) is the confusion and cognitive problems the brain injuries caused in me. I struggled so much with remembering my symptoms or what happened when and connecting the dots that I was never able to see the forest through the trees. It wasn’t until I wrote an actual timeline of accidents and symptoms, that it all became clear and incredibly obvious. Then came a moment when my doctor looked at my neurotransmitter test results and shook his head saying that they were the test results of someone who is bedridden and cannot function at all. He was amazed that I was even sitting in front of him with any hope to get better. Most people in the physical condition that I was in would have lost all hope and taken their own life or at least be checked into a hospital. One of the many reasons I feel called to share about the importance of a strong spiritual foundation and the power of a renewed mind is, because I honestly believe that is the only reason why I’m still here. I can’t say of all things, I expected to be diagnosed with brain damage that day, and I can’t say that I wanted to accept it at first, but it was such a blessing that I was diagnosed by someone who was well educated on neuroplasticity and the brain’s way of healing. He didn’t give me a doom and gloom diagnosis like I was used to. Instead, he showed me treatments that are available for me to get better. Within a couple months I found myself at Apex Brain Centers in North Carolina for a 2 week brain injury rehabilitation program. It turns out all these weird symptoms that conventional doctors told me were impossible or irrelevant, functional neurologists already are familiar with and even have strategies on how to fix them. I can’t even describe the way it felt to finally know what I was fighting and have a plan to overcome it. I had amazing results during my time at Apex. It felt like I started a new life, but it was just the beginning of long road of recovery. I currently keep up treatments and therapies here locally in between traveling to the brain center and other specialty clinics which I’ll go into more in this blog. Healing from brain injury is quite a journey. It takes hard work, time, and a ton of patience and is full of both exciting highs and devastating lows along the way, but at least I know I am finally traveling in the right direction. My dream is to take as many people on this adventure of hope and healing with me as possible. EXIF_JPEG_T422

It may be hard for a person experiencing post brain trauma symptoms to make anything of their symptoms at all. Being overwhelmed and confused makes it hard to “see the forest through the trees.” When a person’s brain is effected, their new normal often seems normal for them and they don’t notice that it isn’t. This is where it helps for us to have a friend or family member observing from the outside. For example after going to a crowded christmas lights event with my husband, I mentioned to him how people always “run into me” to which he replied, “I’ve noticed you walk sideways a lot.” My first reaction was thinking I most certainly do not! It wasn’t until he mentioned it and I studied my walking for a few days that I realized he was right. My handwriting was a symptom that was overlooked when I was a child. I didn’t notice it myself until I became an adult and found it nearly impossible to write on a greeting card without switching letters or writing the wrong words. Sometimes I needed to go through 5 cards just to send a decent thank you note that didn’t look like a 2 year old wrote it. I was looking in my college papers one day and noticed that I did it back then as well, which led me to search through grade school papers that my mom had saved. Sure enough, in 1996, which also happened to be the year when I started competing gymnastics and fell on my head while learning a back tuck, my handwriting went from nearly perfect to extremely messy with multiple mistakes on every page. Often our brains are too busy trying to make sense out of the new world around us that it’s hard to notice patterns in our own symptoms. We may have a symptom like sharp pains, dizziness or nausea that seems to come from nowhere, but then it leaves just as mysteriously and we forget that it ever happened until it comes back. If you ask us about our symptoms at a specific time when it isn’t bothering us, we may not mention it at all. If you ask us when it happened last, we may not be able to tell you whether it happened yesterday or last week. The environment also plays a large role. There are many things that I can easily do in the comfort of my own home, but seem nearly impossible when I am overwhelmed in a crowded place. For instance, my husband knows that he can ask me at home what we need from the store and get a fairly clear answer, but if he were to ask the same question at the grocery store he will get only a wide eyed stare from me. Keep in mind many of these symptoms are things that a normal child or adult might go through for other reasons but don’t simply write them off for that reason either. Also some days will be better or worse than others so don’t judge anything by one day, rather look at changes in patterns over the course of many weeks or months. Try keeping a log to help you or your loved one notice patterns, for example, their stomach hurts at school or in public, but not at home, or a headache becomes normal after shopping or going out to eat in restaurants. Things to look out for in loved ones after a known or possible brain trauma including but not limited to, vehicle accidents, sporting accidents, any type of fall or hit to the head, stroke, lack of oxygen, anesthesia and other drugs, etc. Physical Digestive problems, nausea, cramping, vomiting, diarrhea, constipation Changes in sleep, trouble falling asleep, staying asleep, or sleeping longer, trouble waking up in the morning or taking more naps. Getting sleepy when they are trying to concentrate on homework or do things that require visual stress like watching an action movie, riding in a car, being in a crowded place, working on a computer. Becoming exhausted after every meal or after doing simple tasks like taking a shower. Changes in vision: Needing glasses for the first time or large jumps in prescription. Excessive squinting, blinking, rolling of eyes, or putting their face up really close to what they are reading or writing. Dilated pupils expecially when stressed or tired. Headaches or Complaints of weird pains that come and go. Shooting pains, stabbing pains, a hurting joint with no known cause that only lasts a short time. Swallowing difficulties like choking on drinks, choking randomly on their own saliva Complaints of heart beating faster or harder when doing normal activities. Running into things or people / walking sideways especially when tired or in a busy environment Starting to act either overly “giddy” “tipsy” or “sleepy” in an exciting environment such as a wedding, business meeting, party, theme park, shopping mall, etc. Changes in posture, slouching, not being able to stand in line for things, leans on something, sits or lays down whenever possible. Complains of or looks like their muscles feel weak or floppy. Being distracted or reacting to every noise that happens around them. Covering their ears when they hear certain noises. Being overly hyper one minute and extremely tired the next, followed by a burst of energy and then another tired spell. Cognitive Changes in handwriting (becoming sloppy) and when writing or typing, making more mistakes ie. skipping letters/ switching letters/ writing the wrong word. Shorter attention span, Losing things, forgetting things, not paying attention, “acting ditsy,” having trouble “getting their ducks in a row” (most children and adults will play this off as if they are not trying hard or doing it on purpose. It’s as if they would rather be labeled as not caring than admit they are struggling.) “Refusing” to answer simple questions especially in a stimulating environment or trying to answer but having a hard time “getting the words out” Slower/or much faster reaction time physically or verbally Daydreaming, staring off to the side, or looking like they are in a daze more often especially when someone else in talking. Decreased ability in following multiple steps of a process. (Being okay with 1 or 2 steps but 3 or more they forget what the steps were or what order or start to look like a deer in headlights) Taking a long time or noticeably having a hard time doing normal processes like getting ready for school. Emotional Changes in personality such as becoming more extroverted or introverted, losing interest in fun things, or becoming defiant and having outbursts of anger or sadness. Changes in mood, being overly and irrationally upset about something like their socks not fitting properly, their hair being out of place, or a slight change in plans. Getting overly frustrated with themselves when they make a mistake and then not being able to recover from it. Crying or anger spells that seem to come out of nowhere. Excessive fear of something bad happening to them or their family. When they make mistakes or complain about symptoms try not to say or do things that will encourage them to cover up their symptoms for fear that they will be “in trouble” or “feel stupid.” Like for instance, yelling at them for forgetting things, or rolling your eyes and scolding them when they bump into someone because “they weren’t paying attention,” putting a guilt trip on them for forgetting an important event, or making fun of them for being “slow”. If they do open up to you about how they feel that something is a struggle lately, try to avoid belittling them, saying they are fine, or acting like they are doing these things on purpose for attention. Instead ask them questions about how they feel and why. Then ask them what they think makes it better or worse. This will validate to them that you are not judging them but care about helping and they may open up to you instead of hiding their struggles for fear of disappointing you.